The Name Game

My best friend is trying desperately to come up with a name for her newborn. Every time she brings up a name, we play this game called “How will the a$$hole kids on the playground make fun of it?”

You know the kids I’m talking about. There are always kids like this. Your name could be benign like “John” and these kids will start calling you “toilet” or “bathroom boy.” I say this from experience. No, my name is not John. But as a kid, we watched the movie “Old Yeller” in school. This one boy in particular grabbed hold of that and decided my name sounded close enough. He called me “Old Yeller” for the next three years of my life. He even barked at me. He was an a$$hole. Almost every day for the next three years I went home in tears. He was the classic bully.

It is the bully that I keep in mind when thinking of names for babies. So, if my best friend says she wants to name her son something crazy like “Pooper” or something, I, as a good auntie, should stand up and say hell no!

Don’t leave me hanging. Tell me your horrible name stories. And, if you have a baby name idea, throw it my way!