A Morning in Quotes

This morning was slightly more chaotic than usual. My husband, who usually makes the kids lunches and drives them to school, is out of town. So, it’s all me. Yeah, I know, moms do this every day. But you see, we have a system in our house and the system works! So, I’m proud to say I was proactive and made the kids their lunches last night. Oh, and before I fell asleep I saw a friend’s post of her daughter harvesting kale. Kale, I thought. We have kale. I can make a healthy breakfast for my kids. (Another Brilliant Mom Idea.) And with that, I give you the following one-sided conversation which is essentially a summary of the two and half waking hours I spent with my three kids this morning.

Good Morning!

It’s time to wake up!

Do you still want to work out with me?

Guys, this is mom’s time. If you’re just going to argue, go back to bed. (I work out every morning and they always want to “help” which typically means they sit on the couch under a blanket and watch me workout.)

Stop fighting over the blanket.

Put away your blanket.

Come on guys, let’s get dressed.

Seriously you guys, go get dressed.

Get off the couch.

It’s time to wake up! (See how we’ve circled back?)

Yes, its green stuff. It’s kale.

Kale won’t actually kill you.

Did you wash your hair?

Then why is your hair still dry?

No, you cannot wash your hair in the sink.

Yes, you have to wash your hair all the way to the front.

The shampoo doesn’t wash out by itself!

Stop hitting your brother.

Go to your room. You can come out when you behave yourself.

You can have the toy back when you can be kind to one another.

Where is your lunch?

Did you remember your lunch?

Is your lunch in your backpack?

Where is your coat?

Why don’t you have socks on?

I love you, have a great day!

No, you cannot bring your whoopee cushion to school.

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Who wants a relaxing lunch?

Remember lunch breaks? When we were kids, it meantĀ lining up on those cafeteria tables with your best buddies – trading an orange for a pudding cup. In high school, it was getting in your car and leaving campus to buy a slice of pizza in town, just because you could. In college, it was cramming for a test with your classmates while wolfing down a burrito. After graduation and in my first job, it was lunching with coworkers at new restaurants. And then there were kids.

At first, when I was pregnant, my lunch break turned into a time when I drove home and laid on my left side. Then, when my daughter arrived, lunch became me rushing to her day care to nurse her for a few precious minutes before rushing back to work.

When you’re a stay at home mom, lunch breaks pretty much mean you turn into a short order cook – serving up the masses and, if you’re lucky, grabbing a leftover chicken nugget off your child’s plate. Good luck ever having a meal sitting down, served the proper temperature and uninterrupted by a child demanding you wipe their butt.

When you work outside of the home, lunch breaks turn into this hybrid event of “get everything you can’t do after business hours done in 45 minutes while also cramming food in your face.” It might be meeting with a teacher or dropping off a payment at the bank. Or, it could be my lunch today: driving to Lenscrafters to beg them to repair my 9 year old’s glasses after what appears to have been a Tiger fight gone bad.

This kind of hybrid lunch seemsĀ to be a larger trend – with most moms I know turning a few lunch breaks a week into a marathon errand run. Is it that our lives have gotten so chaotic that we now must multi-task all the time? While I wouldn’t change my life for anything, I do occasionally long for the days when my friends and I would pile in my truck and speed to town to exchange $3 for a slice of pizza, a soda and a carefree lunch where all we worried about was getting back to school before the bell rang.