The Birds and the Bees – 10 Things We Should Really Include in “The Talk”

We’ve had “the talk” in our house. A few times. A few different ways. But, the other day a girlfriend and I were discussing how we really should have been more prepared in our youth for the tactics of pervy boys. We’d both been given “the talk” – but that can only prepare you for so much. Devious boys (and girls) can really throw you for a loop.

So, I found myself talking myself into yet another “talk” with my 11-year-old daughter:

“Do kids in your grade have boyfriends or girlfriends?” I inquired.

“Yeah, (insert name of friend from class) has a boyfriend.” She answered.

“Do they kiss?” I asked – attempting to play it cool.

“Yeah.” Uh oh – we’re entering the monosyllabic responses…

“What would you do if a boy tried to kiss you?” I implored.

“RUN.” She replied, without skipping a beat.


I went on to explain that one day, she’ll want to be kissed – and tried to delve deeper into that realm of conversation, before she changed directions and asked me to buy her ice cream.

Since the traditional talk leaves out quite a bit – what do you think – now that you are older – should be added?

Below are my ten items. Please, add your own. What do you wish you could have told your younger self? Also – please note, I have aimed these toward my daughter – but these can all apply in various forms toward boys.


Ten Things We Should Really Include in “The Talk”

10. Whatever you write in a text, note (kids don’t do that anymore, do they?) or email – be sure it’s proper enough that you could read it to your Grandpa.

9. Never take naked or suggestive pictures of yourself. Ever. Things live on the internet forever.

8. If you ever get that uncomfortable gut feeling that something is wrong, trust it.

7. Nothing good happens in a boy’s bedroom.

6. At some point – a boy will try to reach down your pants. “NO!” always means no. ALWAYS.

5. If you tell a date “NO!” – you need to say it firmly. Don’t giggle. Say no and mean it. If he doesn’t respect you – he doesn’t deserve you. Walk away.

4. If a date ever hits you or threatens to hit you, that’s it. No second chances offered in this category. You don’t need him. There are other, much more deserving, people out there. It may not feel like it and he will tell you that you are overreacting. You are not. Chances are, if he hits you once – he’ll do it again.

3. If a date ever calls you a name, the same rules apply from #4.

2. At some point – a boy will try to reach up your shirt. Slapping his hand away is perfectly acceptable. So is saying you want to go home.

1. You can always call me. No matter what. You get a judge-free card.





2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Stephanie B.
    Jan 14, 2014 @ 18:29:40

    1. Don’t let them pressure you with “don’t you love me, cause I love you and this will be a way of showing how much I love you” IF they truly love you, They wont pressure you into something you don’t want to do.

    2. Even if all your friends have done it doesn’t mean it’s right for you

    3. If they act differently towards you around their friends or yours, they are fake and not right for you


  2. Misty Rose Nesvick
    Jan 19, 2014 @ 12:58:42

    Watch out for your friends. Some times you may have to be the “mean or uncool friend” but better to be that…then the friend who has to put pieces together later when there is physical or mental hurt.

    Don’t allow or condone behavior even if it’s not directed at you.

    How do you handle it if someone is taking pictures or video of inappropriate behavior?

    The internet is not a “safe place” . The same “rules” you use for interacting with boys “in real life” should apply to on-line.

    Mom and/or dad get to meet EVERY boy you’re spending time with. “Just Friends”, study buddies, girlfriends brothers… EVERYONE. period. If you think we wouldn’t like/approve of/allow for …then trust that feeling because it’s probably right.


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