Hair Brush Murder Sounds

I remember, as a child, hating to have my hair brushed. My hair was long. Very long. I could sit on it. And while I could do lots of things with it, the one thing I never wanted to do was brush it. Enter my mom. She would threaten that if I didn’t start brushing it, she would cut it. Enter my dad. He did NOT want my hair cut, so he would give me tips on how to get it nice and soft and tangle free. Mainly, that tip was brush it 500 times. No kindergartener has time for that. I was too busy butchering my Barbie’s hair or harassing my big brother. Can you guess how this story ends? About halfway through first grade, my mom took me to the salon and had my hair chopped off. My dad, by the way, kept it.

Dozens of years later, here I am having the same exact argument with my 11-year old daughter. She NEVER wants to brush her hair. And when she does, she half asses it. Like, smooth-ish top layer covering a rat’s nest. She knows the drill. If she doesn’t brush it, I get to. That’s never pretty.

Earlier this week, I brushed her hair for her. It was horrible. The neighbors may have thought I was murdering her. Her brothers scattered, praying they wouldn’t be next. When it was done, she was in tears and I was thoroughly frustrated.

Threatening to cut her hair will not work. She wants it cut. But, her dad doesn’t. So, here we are.

What can I do to get her to brush her hair better? Any tips here?


9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. ❤Clarice Murray❤ (@hunnyakaclarice)
    Jul 26, 2013 @ 09:45:07

    What always worked for me is using a detangler spray and start brushing it from the bottom first and work your way up. Maybe some incentive I know we shouldn’t bribe our kids but seriously how else can we get them to listen without screaming, threatening, stressing out or losing it completely. LOL


  2. Amy
    Jul 26, 2013 @ 13:34:36

    Take her to the salon and let her get it cut how she would like! It would probably be so much easier to maintain. She’s old enough to chose the style that she wants… If mom and dad hate it, well, it will grow back! 🙂


  3. Miranda
    Jul 26, 2013 @ 17:16:32

    I remember having my long hair chopped off because I would/could not brush it. I had really long hair that my dad would not let me cut. It was too long for me to be able to take care of it properly myself (little did my parents know). After leaving me the summer at my aunts, hoping I would be able to learn how to take care of my hair myself, I had to have it cut. My hair beautifully long (to where I sat on it), kinky with curls and super thick hair was cut to just below my ears! I could finally take care of it myself and get the brush through it. Something that was impossible for my 5th grade self to do.

    Your daughter is right on the verge of caring about what her hair looks like and what clothes she wears and unfortunately what others think of those things she is wearing. Oh, I dread the day! This would definitely be a parental choice type thingy (yep a technical word). When do you let her have impedance of her hair? It will probably be different for everyone. Right now my 8yo does her own hair. Its pretty simple for her she has naturally curly hair that does not need to be fussed over. I actually encourage her not to brush otherwise we end up with a lions mane look.

    This could be a good opportunity to talk to her about good healthy habits. Proper hygiene and why. It will help her self image if you talk to her about it. Help her to be confident in who she is in a time in her life when she is not sure who she is. Maybe she is seeing or starting to feel like she is not a kid anymore and maybe she is not ready to grow up. In that case good for her, fight society and what they tell us our kids should be doing and when.

    Spend some time doing each others hair or just take the time to teach and show her how to do her hair. Pick out some fun hair accessories or pony-o’s in the colors she would like. Maybe even *GASP* bribe her with her first curling iron…Give her some parameters for when she can use it…Remember her ability to brush her hair won’t change over night. Keep on Keeping on!

    Good Luck.


  4. Stephanie B.
    Jul 27, 2013 @ 01:13:30

    I wish I had some words of wisdom and some great tricks for you to tell her but alas I myself hate my hair and hate having to brush it out. It falls just at the middle to end of my shoulders and is super fine but super thick. I hated having my hair brushed as a child as it hurt my scalp for anyone but me to brush my hair and back then it was longer then what it is now. I was 9 when my mom cut it to above my ears and for years after I would grow it out and then chop it off and grow it out again.

    I now have it at a manageable length but it still causes me problems like ratting up really bad and I dread when I have to brush it when it rats out. I have found if I work from the bottom of the hair up it works pretty well, I grab just above where I’m about to brush so I don’t pull and make it hurt. I also use a 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner. I also find if I pull my hair back into a loose pony tail at night that sits low it’s not so tangled in the morning. But I have to brush it before it gets pulled back or it’s useless.


  5. cabg
    Jul 29, 2013 @ 22:20:49

    My godparent’s daughter had very long hair too, and her dad refused to have it cut. To cut down on tangles, Heidi’s hair was basically always in braids. Two braids on top to pull in the shorter front hairs and then all ending in 2 pigtails. She wore her hair like that until high school when there was a parental compromise and she got shoulder-length hair.


  6. Andrea
    Oct 28, 2013 @ 18:53:18

    I think you need to have a fun girls day! Along the lines of what someone else said, teach her and make it fun. Go to breakfast, get her hair done (trim) by a professional who will tell her how to take care of her hair. It’s always nice for them to hear from someone other than mom. Buy some leave in conditioner if that helps with the ends. Braid it at night for her so its less tangled in the morning. There are lots of things u can do. Start with a deep breath and make sure you try to have patience.


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