Birthday Blues

My daughter is going to that birthday party she never got an invite for tonight. That’s all fine and good – but my son is pissed. He wants to do something special, too. Enter the divided mama moment.

Part of me wants to tell him, “Your sister gets to have fun now. You’ll have a time in the future when you get to have fun, too, and she’ll have to stay home.”

Part of me wants to say, “Life isn’t fair buddy, get used to it!”

Part of this mama wants to scoop him up and tell him, “We’ll do something fun tonight, I promise!”

Okay. Fine. You got me. I said, essentially, all three of those things to him. His seventh birthday is next week and he’ll be showered in gifts soon enough, so it’s not like he’s really lacking that much by not going to an all girl swimming party.

I’ve noticed a trend though. At  baby showers when a mom is pregnant with her second or third, someone will bring a gift for her older child. Or, for birthdays of an older sibling, the parents buy a present for the younger sibling to hold so they won’t be upset.

What do you think? Are we coddling our kids too much? Should we tell them to suck it up? Or, should we consider their feelings of being left out?


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. erin
    Sep 28, 2012 @ 14:35:30

    What better time to teach our kids then in a situaton like this..sure our first instinct is to run out and buy them a special treat so they don’t feel left out…… but they have to learn sooner or later (hopefully sooner) that we don’t always get the same things as someone else, I mean on kids sports teams EVERONE wins, and EVERYONE gets an award…. I think its bogus!! not every team can be the winner, teach them to be a good sport whetherr they win or loose…. kids now days seem to think they are entitled to the best with out doing anything for it.. With my 3 kids (ages 7,4&4) there are certian things one may get that the others don’t…. my oldest gets to stay up an hour later than his sisters..they always say how unfair it is, but it’s life. I understand their lil feelings get hurt, and there is nothing wrong with giving them some extra TLC as long as we are teaching them not to always expect a treat or special attention just because an older or younger sibling gets to have or do something they don’t, I think kids who are spoiled too much have a rude awakening as adults, when they find out the world does not revolve soley around them 🙂 I think at times I do give in when I shouldn’t but there is no handbook to being a parent and we learn as we go along, and we pray and hope we are raising them to be good responsible adults.


  2. Janice
    Sep 28, 2012 @ 15:09:33

    I have noticed that also! I don’t partake in that new trend, especially with my children. Don’t budge. You give ’em an inch, they want a mile..


  3. Stephanie
    Sep 29, 2012 @ 17:06:16

    I gotta say, I have to agree with Janice and Erin. Kids today get spoiled with the everyone is on the team and everyone is a winner. It wasn’t like that when I grew up. Why the change all of the sudden? Why is it such a bad thing if Jr doesn’t make the team or gets a gift because it’s a siblings birthday?


    • Mom Land
      Oct 02, 2012 @ 09:14:53

      Stephanie, I don’t know! Why is it like that? I think we’ve all built our character out of the neurosis from not being picked for the team, etc. It makes you who you are.


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