Raise your hand if your kid has ever dropped the F bomb.
Sorry, had to get both hands back on the keyboard. Yes, of course, my kids have said the F word. I’m a journalist. What can I say?
Despite the many naughty words that have come out of my mouth, I was actually shocked to hear the phrase my kindergartener muttered the other night. Let me set this up for you.
We were getting ready for bed. I asked my third grader to get her younger brothers’ toothbrushes ready for them while I was getting my toddler dressed in his jammies. She got her own ready and the baby’s, but somehow left her six-year-old brother’s toothbrush dry. When she walked away my kindergartener said, “That dirty bastard.”
Okay now. Really? I tried, desperately, to stifle a laugh. I held the tears in while I choked out the mandatory mom question: “Where did you hear such language?!” (I only use that “Dirty Bastard” phrase at work, and mostly it’s directed at my computer.)
His response? “TV!”
I relayed this story to a girlfriend the other night. She shared a few stories with me but has forbidden me to share them here. So folks, it’s up to you. Tell me all your horror stories of when your kids have said something that had you trying not to laugh as you threatened to wash out their mouths with soap. Oh, and do you actually wash your kids mouths out with soap? I vaguely recall talking with a friend as a child about tasting the soap ahead of time to see which ones tasted okay… just in case.
Mom Land 
Mar 01, 2012 @ 04:40:15
We so try to not cuss around Zee, but one day my daughter was trying to copy Mr. C. He said fudge cakes, and when she said it, it came out fuck cakes. So yup, we switched from that phrase.
Mar 01, 2012 @ 11:46:03
Kalley, Gotta love the way kids say things. When I was pregnant with my son, we had his name down to two options. One of them was Phoenix. When we asked my daughter to say it and it came out “Penis,” we knew it was off the list.
Mar 01, 2012 @ 08:39:12
My dear precious (laughing as I typed that) Dylan is 2 yearsold and last night he told Thoms (the train of course) “Damnit get out of the way Thomas, Firerescue needs to save Scruff (another train).” Oh the joys of toddlers and Mommys that need to watch what they say (gulity).
Mar 01, 2012 @ 11:47:20
Kelly, Well, geez! Fire rescue was in a damn hurry! 🙂
Mar 01, 2012 @ 08:42:04
One time, when my step daughter was about 2 or 3 years old, she was riding in the car with her dad when another driver cut him off. All of a sudden from the back seat he hears “Son of a bitch!!” hahaha……really all he could do was laugh, because if she hadn’t said first he would have!! Side note….she is now 17 yrs old and HATES when he tells this story!!
Mar 01, 2012 @ 11:48:07
Courtney, oh I full-well have plans on sharing all these stories with my kids when they are teenagers. Embarrass them good!
Mar 01, 2012 @ 08:46:41
My daughter told her dad that we were going to have to go buy the Frickin Witch. Yes, I had said Frickin and she copied me. More recently, she told dad that he freaked the hell out of her. Once we stopped laughing because it sounded so funny coming out of her sweet face, we told her “heck” was a much nicer word for her to use.
Mar 01, 2012 @ 11:48:34
Carrie, Now I’m curious what Frickin Witch you had to buy. 🙂
Mar 05, 2012 @ 07:42:37
It was one at Freddy’s a couple of Halloweens ago. It was about as tall as my daughter and talked. We spent 10 minutes with it every week of shopping. I was almost to the point of giving in and buying it so that shopping would go faster! finally they sold out!
Mar 01, 2012 @ 09:21:10
A few months back my son,six, was not listning to me and I got frusterated and yelled at him “Boy you better start listning” his response? I ain’t no Damn boy”!!! yeah I know that seems like a mild bad word but for our household it’s pretty bad we don’t swear and they are limited to Dora and Deigo (and limited dvd’s) I asked where he heard that word, he says school. I will say “son of a buscuit eater” but after hearing my 3 year olds repeat it that even sounded bad 🙂 The one and only time we ever used soap in my sons mouth (a very small db of dawn) he was almost 4 his response was “MMMM more please” this time tho I just told him to never repeat it again because if he did he would be writting sentences 🙂
Mar 01, 2012 @ 11:50:06
Erin, That’s like when kids say “that didn’t hurt!” when you spank them. I love that. “I ain’t no damn boy!” What a big man you have on your hands! 🙂
Mar 01, 2012 @ 09:27:14
At the time my daughter was 3, my son 5 and they were playing house and going to the “store”. My daughter walks out of the bedroom and forgot something and said “Oh sh%}!” Can’t blame that one on her Dad, that was all me.
Mar 01, 2012 @ 11:51:53
Leigh Anne, Maybe we should all change our swear words to challenging vocabulary instead. So, if our kids repeat us they’re saying something like “stupendous” or “exacerbating.” Try and repeat that, three year old!