One on One Time

Sorry it’s been a few days since my last post. Wow, that felt vaguely reminiscent of confession…

Anyway… I was having a conversation with a girlfriend today about never having enough time to do stuff. Her “stuff” was working out. She said she feels like she can’t leave work in the middle of the day to workout (which is what I do, when I can…) and she doesn’t want to miss out on time with her little one at home. So, she’s stuck trying to find time for herself. Not to mention, she’s married and I’m sure she wants special time with her hubby too!

That conversation led me into my evening with my kids. They’ve been with me since Thursday. Our custody agreement has us swapping out every other weekend and they go with their dad on Wednesdays and every other Tuesday. Confused? Yeah, me too.

While tucking my boys into bed (my daughter was taking a shower), my kindergartener asks me, “Mom, when can we have a kid and mom date? Just the two of us.” Now, lets look at the sheer logistics of this request: I have my kids every other weekend and most school nights. When does that leave time for one on one dates with each child? Hell, when does that leave time for one on one time at all with each kid? Besides that moment tonight while I tucked him in, I can’t recall time we’ve been able to just sit and talk, just the two of us. The same goes for my daughter. (We’ll be having mommy/daughter time in the morning for a bit, assuming she wants to wake up.) My toddler gets a little chunk of alone time with me every morning after we drop the big kids off at day care.

My kindergartener’s request for a Mom and kid date was not the only tear-jerker that came out of his mouth tonight. He asked me if I could “cancel work” and stay home with him. He said I could “home school” and then corrected himself to say “home work” so I could spend more time with them. Lets just stick that knife a little further into mommy’s heart, shall we?

My question for you parents is this: How do you accommodate one on one time with your kids, when there’s more than one kid?

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lisa
    Feb 24, 2012 @ 16:15:12

    I’ve never been able to figure that one out! My girls are teenagers now and since the second, then third one came along, they were always a unit. It was always “the girls” not just one. Most of the times I get any alone time with one of them is in the car driving them to their various rehearsals, lessons, etc. It’s a tough one. I think you need to figure out what would work for you, and make it happen. Maybe let him stay up and extra half hour with just you (I know…you will pay for it the next day.) Again, it’s tough.

    Reply

  2. Maria
    Mar 01, 2012 @ 11:17:06

    I have a 7 (boy) 9 (girl) and 11 (boy), and I’m a single mom, with week on/week off custody. So I’m good to go on “me” time, but when I get the kids back, I’m kindo greedy with their time. I don’t want to give any up. Recently, my 11 yo has started staying behind for an hour that we have girl scouts – and I suppose that’s good, but my time with The Three is already cut in half…Don’t be askin’ my kids for any sleepovers! 🙂 A HUGE reward is if I take one of them out of school a little early, (and I take off work) and we do an activity and have dinner, while I arrange sitter or friend for the other two.

    That’s happened twice in the six years I’ve been divorced. We do A TON of things together as a unit (Im big on activity) but one on one? *sigh*

    Good luck!

    Reply

    • Mom Land
      Mar 01, 2012 @ 11:54:05

      Maria- I know, right? There’s never enough time in the day when you are a single mom. I can say, however, my boyfriend (who is a father of four boys) is a HUGE help. He takes over lots of chores so I can spend time with the kids. It’s nice. I found an article about single moms and one on one time, but it was completely worthless, so I didn’t put a link up. Let me know if you find anything else out there! Good luck to you as well!

      Reply

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