Dichotomy of a Kindergartener

A while back, I wrote a post about the dichotomy of a preschooler. My son had been a complete brat one minute and then a shining little angel the next. A year later, we’re repeating that pattern with a near-stabbing and an omnipotent orphan. Got your interest yet?

Tonight as I was getting ready to bring dinner to the table, I heard a commotion. My kindergartener had helped set the table. He’d put out all the forks. He’s very finicky about where the silverware goes. I could hear he was arguing with his sister after she’d relocated the forks to different settings. He was, in a word, pissed. I didn’t, however, realize how pissed until I turned the corner and saw him… standing in his chair… with an angry (slightly psychotic) look on his face… and a fork, clenched in his fist, in stab-ready stance.

Now, I’d been told by a counselor once not to match anger with anger. You, as the parent, have to be the calm voice of reason when a child cannot provide this for him/herself. So, instead of screeching “WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING?!” at the top of my lungs, like every fiber of my being was calling me to do, I said calmly, “Honey, you need to sit down right now and put the fork down.”

At this, he began sobbing: “Yes, mommy.”

“You understand, that is not okay, right?” I continued.

“Yes, mommy,” said through more tears.

“It’s never okay to threaten to hurt someone. You could have really hurt your sister if you would have stabbed her.”

“Yes, mommy,” he says, with his head down now, tears streaming down his face.

“Do you know what would have happened if you did something like that at school? You’d be kicked out. They wouldn’t let you come back to school.” I explained softly.

“Mmm hmmm… mommy. (unintelligible mumblings) I’m a bad boy!”

 

Now, before you go committing my son to a psych ward for spontaneous rage, let me tell you what he said the other night in the car. Hence the dichotomy…

We’re driving down the road and he says “Mommy, who’s God’s mom?”

Before I have a chance to answer, my daughter says “Mary.”

“Who’s God’s dad?” he continues.

“God,” my daughter answers.

“Does God have a step dad or a step mom?” he asks.

“Well,” I interrupt before my daughter can answer, “God is Jesus’ dad. Mary is his mom and Joseph is his step dad.”

“So, who is God’s dad?” my son wonders aloud.

“God doesn’t have a mommy or daddy. He just is,” I say, fully aware my son might not be able to comprehend this idea.

There’s a long pause and then he says “Poor God. He must have been so lonely and scared as a kid with no mommy or daddy! I feel bad for him. I think I’ll pray for him so he won’t be sad.”

Sweet. Remember the sweet. Not the fork.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Mara
    Nov 07, 2011 @ 15:57:48

    Ok I am laughing so hard thinking about the knife in college!!

    Reply

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