Toddler on Toddler Violence

The streets are plagued with them. Violent offenders, just waiting to snap. They look like everyone else. They blend in well. In fact, they’re cuter than most. Until you cross them. No, I have no just described a serial killer. I’m talking about toddlers.

This morning, when I went to drop my toddler off at day care, the teacher pulled me aside to sign a form. It said my baby boy had been arguing with another kid (they never name the other kid. Is that HIPA or just so you won’t wait for the parent in the parking lot and kick their ass?) when my boy had apparently had enough. He dug his nails into this other kid’s skin. No damage. Just tears. Mind you, last week it was my child on the victim end. Some kid bit him on the arm.

Tonight, I went to pick my little man up from day care. Another form. This time a kid got ticked at my kid and chucked a toy at his face, leaving behind a small scratch. No real harm done. I signed.

This got me thinking about a few recent conversations I’ve had with other parents and day care teachers. What if all of society was handled the way toddlers handle things? Lets toss out a few scenarios, shall we?

You took my parking spot. I want it back. I am going to scream at the top of my lungs. This tactic is not working. I’m now going to bite you. Cops are called. Forms are signed.

You got the promotion at work that I most certainly should have gotten. I am going to enter your office and make a mean face at you. And now, I’m pooping in the corner.

I don’t like what’s on the menu. I am angry. I will now throw my plate at you and scream until you bring me ice cream.

I stayed out partying too late last night and am hung over. I need a nap and am cranky. I will display this by knocking over displays at the grocery store, like blocks.

I’m not getting enough attention. Look at me. Okay. Fine. Have it your way. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Screamed while laying on the floor, kicking and screaming.


Had enough? Sure, there are times I want to throw a tantrum. Like when my work isn’t up to someone’s standards and I have to do it again. NO fair! I want to scream. Or, when the treadmill seems to mock me as I huff and puff to keep up. Lord knows I want to kick that machine. But, I restrain myself. That’s what society demands of us grown ups. But, you know what? I have some friends (if you’re reading this, you know who you are) that say “screw it” and throw an adult tantrum when they feel like it. I bet it feels good.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Domestiç Reclusë
    Nov 05, 2011 @ 20:42:23

    Uhm, not to sound like I’m giving a mean reality check but I think there’s already quite a few adults who handle stuff in the same manner as toddlers do. 😉

    People who believe that they are above the law and drive like toddlers, cutting everyone off at a dangerous turn or intersection and then slowing down to a crawl as if longing to have you rear-end them…
    Irresponsible people who continue having babies that they neglect or abuse, instead of getting their own life in order before introducing a little one to the mix, among other things…

    Sometimes I can’t help but become one [a toddler] too, and imagine responding to these dorks in kind, but most times — I try to be an adult and handle people and situations with brains and patience… and maybe a smidge of sarcasm. 😉


  2. Gev
    Feb 23, 2012 @ 20:43:24

    I’m a nanny of a toddler, and this post totally made me laugh!
    I wish I would’ve found this earlier!! hahahaha Good writing! you should check out my blog

    It’s about being a nanny, I work for 2 seperate families, so there’s a bunch of material on there, hope you enjoy it!


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