Mommy Guilt

At what point does Mommy Guilt cease to exist? Ever? Seriously!

When I was at home full-time with the kids, I always felt like I couldn’t get everything done. There was so much to do. And there never seemed like there were enough hours in the day. But, I felt connected.

As a full-time out of the home working mom, I’m feeling again like I can’t get everything done. There’s still so much to do. And there’s never enough time to do it. Now, I just feel guilty. If I come home and make dinner (while my toddler screams his frigging head off) I’m never able to sit down and eat with my kids. I’m too busy preparing their lunches for the next day, or doing the laundry, or cleaning up from dinner, or making the next night’s dinner or checking my daughter’s homework. Or… leading the fight in the attack of the Zombie apocalypse. I rush, rush, rush and spend so much of my time thinking about what’s next, I forget about what’s now.

Ever heard that country song ‘You’re Gonna Miss This?” Maybe that’s not its exact title, but you get the gist. It says you’re going to miss this period of your life where you’re so busy and thinking about the days ahead. I can feel the time slipping away. I’m only four weeks into full-time employment and I can actually feel this sucking of time away from my kids. And, you’d think, based on these statements, that I’d be cherishing my time with my children. Nope. The other night, I took my kids to Wal-Mart, my first mistake, I know. It ended with my daughter throwing a tantrum over a pair of shoes. It annoyed me to no end. And, it was a brief glimpse into what the teenage years may be like. Last night, she threw another tantrum because I was making her take a shower. Yep, I’m mean.

I rush and rush and feel a great disconnect with my kids. I feel Mommy guilt. It sucks. I tried to make the effort last night to just sit and enjoy my kids. We played with some toys. It was nice. But, then it was bed time.

With just two waking hours of time with my kids each school day, what can I do to maximize that time? I know I’ve asked this question before, but I really think it’s important. And, honestly, I may have forgotten all that great advice. Between working all day, taking care of the kids and waking multiple times in the night with a toddler who refuses to sleep, I’m exhausted!!!

Please, help me cherish these fleeting days. I’ve already wasted one night this week with the words “Cut the shit” directed at my children who were fighting in the car in the Wal-Mart parking lot. And, there’s the classic “Get in the damn car!” Lovely, I know.

My challenge for you this weekend: come up with and post your best mommy guilt moments. When have you felt your crappiest as a parent? We’ve all been there. Believe me. I write this blog. I see/hear a lot. Sharing is therapeutic. Come on, let’s make guilt be gone!

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