The Phallic Art of Kindergarten

This is what I encountered at “Back to School Night” tonight. My kindergartener made this self-portrait. It left me with a few questions…

1. Are those horns? (Turns out it’s a jester’s hat.) It looks rather phallic to me…

2. What lovely teeth you have! Is that how he sees his teeth?

3. What’s with the little dude on his shoulder? The teacher said it may be a teddy bear. I’m thinking Devil or Angel on his shoulder thing.

4. What’s with the bloody red forehead?

5. Why so much red?

Should I not be as alarmed as I am after seeing this? It totally freaked me out! I did that nervous laugh thing. I mean, there’s no nose but there’s a whole other person on his shoulder? And the teeth? Yeah… a tad scary. The teachers just laughed. They talked about how great of a kid he is. I know he’s a pretty cool dude. I’m just a tad taken aback over this picture!

Not to be left out, my third grader is doing just fine in school as well. She was quite the little helper. And, I noticed she had three tally marks on the board. Turns out, this is a good thing these days. They use tallies, in her class, as incentives!  I was not the only parent to notice the tallies on the board and start making mental notes… Good thing the teacher corrected us!

Back to the art project of phallic proportions… I do love that he highlighted his gorgeous blue eyes. (Despite the fact he chose not to include a nose.) At least I knew it was a self-portrait. My mom still has this little volcano looking clay thing my brother made in school. Turns out, it’s a frog.

What kind of things have you seen in your kid’s classrooms or homework that’s had you doing a double take?


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. RiverUnderWater
    Aug 31, 2011 @ 07:08:18

    I don’t have kids, but I look back at some of my art and really wonder haha!! I have come a long way since then 😉

    I paused for a minute there and wondered a bit about how i saw things years ago. I think it is just like riding a bicycle. We don’t really have much control over our pens and pencils at that age. We are still quite wobbly. Of course, some people get the hang of it and keep at it, whether it be biking or art or any career.

    I have a feeling i will be thinking about this for a few days. It says a lot about people in a way. Our talents, our psychology, and what our poor parents think of us 😀

    P.S. I totally got the jester hat thing, I don’t think its anything to worry about haha! I look forward to the day I get to sit down and doodle with my kids for the first time.


  2. Rhonda
    Oct 13, 2011 @ 07:54:15

    This is hilariously funny! I couldn’t stop laughing until the end. As a mother of four I feel you!


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