How Do Kids Survive Childhood??

Call it Malady Monday. Each one of my children has had some sort of calamity today. My oldest lost a tooth. My middle child wiped out on his scooter. And my baby? That poor thing has had one heck of a day.

Where do I start? Can I just mention quickly that I made brownies this morning? I was making those zucchini kind where you trick your kids into eating vegetables. I was wearing an apron. All was going well. Then, I put the brownies in the oven and laid the baby down. The next time I saw an adult, they asked me “What’s all over you?” Turns out, you should never, ever remove your apron without first checking your child. I was covered in brownie. All over my shirt. And, a splotch on the crotch of my pants. Always the crotch.

Later, the baby crapped his pants in complete and utter blow out mode. Twice. The second time, it ended up all over me in one of those “Why am I wet? ” moments. Lovely. And, we weren’t even at home. So, I had to put down a layer of paper towels in his car seat and speed back to the house to change his ever worsening diaper condition.

But, this post was about maladies. As I was saying, the baby had it pretty rough. He tripped over his feet, more than once today, and skidded his head into the ground. It dribbled like a basketball a few times before he started screaming. He was okay. Later, he ran, giggling away from me, in the driveway. He made it to the garage before he tripped and slammed his face into the ground, again, making that awful thud. And still later, he fell off my bed while trying to safely descend it, and slammed his face into my nightstand. (Night stand implies classiness. It’s actually a fold up TV stand I use as a place to put my various crap.)

After his last crashing thud, I wondered, “How have you survived until now?!” Isn’t it amazing just how much those little bodies can take? I’m not beating the kid, I swear. But it sure does look like it! He’s got a red spot under his right eye from the fall off the bed. And, my middle son has a shiner on his left eye from a playground accident today. Add that to my daughter’s missing tooth and it looks like my kids have been in one heck of a bar room brawl!

I constantly hear stories from moms and dads whose kids have happened to get injured and everyone looks at the mom or dad as if they were somehow involved. (Don’t get me started about my middle child’s brain hemorrhage as a baby and how they had to bring someone in to do one of those analysis things to make sure we hadn’t shaken him…) Do tell your horrible stories! Sure, they were traumatic then. But, now we can laugh… right?

Oh, and one last note. Sweetest thing ever. After school today, my kindergartener pulled out of his backpack a bouquet of flowers he picked for me. It was adorable. But, it wasn’t 20 minutes later he was telling me, through tears, how much he hated me and wished I would just go away. Isn’t being a mom fun?

Remember how I said that was the last note? I lied. One really last note… how much is the Tooth Fairy paying these days?

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Amy
    Aug 30, 2011 @ 07:10:54

    My oldest was born with a clubfoot. He wore a hip length cast from 3-weeks of age to a year. I had someone sneer at me and ask how on earth a 3-week old baby had broken his leg. Fun times. As if I wasn’t beating myself up enough already over every single missed prenatal vitamin, or whatever else I imagined might have “caused” his birth defect!

    The tooth fairy brought my child $1 and some random loose change recently. It looked like an act of desperation…I suspect it was whatever she had on hand. 🙂 Guess the tooth fairy only carries plastic most days.

    Reply

    • AKmom
      Aug 30, 2011 @ 20:12:23

      My daughter was born without fingers on her left hand – I can relate the beating up and looks. People are amazing.

      Tooth Fairy just paid out a gold dollar coin to my daughter. I did a fb poll on cost these days and apparently the tf doesn’t have a recession going on – I heard as much as ten bucks a tooth.

      Reply

  2. Hope
    Aug 30, 2011 @ 09:02:35

    Amy- our daughter has clubfoot too! I can’t yell you the amount of people who would yell: “did you break that baby’s legs?

    Ugh.

    Reply

  3. kalleyc
    Aug 30, 2011 @ 11:20:18

    My daughter was walking in the street with her hands in her pocket and fell face forward on the pavement. Her mouth was bleeding and she had knocked loose some teeth, but lucky nothing fell out. I probablly over reacted searching for any dentist in my area that would see her, but I just wanted an expert opinion.

    Like Amy, I was already beating myself up because of the fall.

    As of now, the tooth fairy does not know our address, and she better not show up unannounced either!

    Reply

  4. Momx5kidz
    Aug 30, 2011 @ 17:26:03

    When my oldest daughter was 2 yrs old, my Mom had her at church with her. She fell and hit her head n the hymnal rack. My Mom rushed her to the ER, called me, I was working, and I went immediately to the ER. Once there I was taken aside and questioned about the possibility of abuse! By a social Worker and a Cop. I was at WORK!!! They never questioned my Mom. There were at least a hundred witnesses in the church and they questioned ME! She had a couple of steri-strips and still has a tiny scar. Her Uncle, my brother, was so upset because he said, “Now she can never be a model”…as IF!

    The Tooth Fairy rewards my kids with a new tooth! Duh! : ) Just like when the Ice Cream truck goes by and the music is playing…it means he’s letting them know he is out of ice cream and is going to get it refilled…survival tactices from a Mom of 5 children! : )

    Reply

  5. Erin H
    Aug 30, 2011 @ 19:51:32

    I adopted my 2 sons, the oldest at the time was an extreme tippy-toe walker. So the othropedic doctor had him wear fiberglass leg braces from his knees to his toes. he couldnt bend his ankles to walk. We had to fly to LA when he was 5yrs old till 8… and at 5yrs old he got “picked by TSA” for a full body scan. This poor little guy was scared to death, they wouldnt let me near him, we were seperated by that glass room. They made him take off his braces and they did that fiber rub for any explosive matter on them.. they frisked him up and down, he kept yelling ” bad touch, mommy bad touch” and I couldnt help him.. I wanted to scream.. they then made him put on his own leg braces which were a 2 piece velcro boot in a boot type.. he was crying and they would let him out of the room, I am livid at this point and called over the manager on duty and chewed him a new butthole.. they opened the door and let him out to me.. this was the start of out vacation he remembers to this day… I HATE TSA for that they do to kids.. grrrrrr…

    Reply

    • Momx5kidz
      Sep 01, 2011 @ 19:25:14

      That is cruel !! Wasn’t there someone to complain to? I have adopted 4 special needs children and the pre-teaching we go through each time one had to fly was intense. They even cried (one even had panic attacks) when their backpacks had to be sent through the x-ray machine. I can’t even imagine the body scan. My kids are all tactile defensive and they would FREAK!!! How awful for your little one.

      Reply

  6. AlaskaBean
    Aug 30, 2011 @ 19:57:01

    In kindergarten my daughter decided to go through a black eye phase. Every time one would heal she’d get another somehow. The worst was at school. Poor thing is sitting on the potty and another girl comes in and kicks the door in as if she’s DEA and the stall is a meth house. My daughter just happened to be eye level with the latch, that she clearly didn’t use, and got it right in the eye. Swollen, bruised, sealed almost shut. I got many disgusted looks from, what can only be described as, perfect parents with perfect children who have the best balance in the world.

    Tooth fairy prices vary depending on area, inflation and how long they’ve hung onto that tooth! Both of my kids were very late to lose their first teeth and were very distressed so they got paid high dollar for the first tooth! But every one after that was $1

    Reply

  7. Samantha
    Sep 13, 2011 @ 14:36:05

    Lol! I’m about to be a mom of three and yikes! What am I in for?! My daughter hasn’t starting losing teeth yet (just turned 5) but she has already had cavities 😦 The going rate with my friends is a dollar a tooth, but honestly, my daughter would be thrilled with 2 quarters so she could put them in those machine at the grocery store to get a piece a junk that will end up in the trash in a few hours! I did find a really helpful Mom’s Guide that gives tips and information on caring for your little ones teeth. Of course, I didn’t stumble across it until after my daughter got 2 cavities…

    Reply

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