Free Time and Potty Words

It’s too quiet. I keep thinking I’ve forgotten the children somewhere. Earlier, I sat in my car, trying to be quiet as to not wake the baby. The only problem? The baby wasn’t with me. The kids are with their dad this weekend.

I started thinking about this post back in June. I wrote only the words “Free Time: what do I do with it?” and hit save. Every time I considered writing on the subject, I was actually busy and lacking free time. But, today? Today, it hit me in the face like the smell of an old dog bed drenched in urine. (Yes, this actually happened. Don’t ask. It was gross!)

The morning was busy. I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned some more. Without the kids here, I actually got things accomplished! Who knew? But, then it was afternoon. I ate a sandwich. (On the couch! Don’t tell the kids…) I watched some crap TV. I read. I drank coffee. I realized two things: I was bored and I was lonely.

When I first separated from my husband, my brother (who had just gotten remarried) told me I needed to use this time to “find myself.” I should try new things, meet new people. Much like the mantra we tell our kids when they go to kindergarten. I did that. I tried some new stuff. I’ve met some new people. But, then there are days like today. I’m only made busy by looking for a job and watching “The Bone Collector” on TV.  At least it’s not Jersey Shore. (Alright, you got me. I watched it for a second while looking to see what else was on.)

While talking to a friend today about the struggle of free time, I got a little emotional. She asked if I was sad. I’m not sure how to explain what I was feeling. Loss?

It’s crazy, I know. I bitch about wanting just a moment to myself to pee and then when I get several uninterrupted hours, I’m not sure what to do with myself! Go ahead. Yell at your computer screen. I can take it. Now that you’ve gotten the rage out… what do you do with your free time? Are you done laughing? Okay, seriously. When you get free time (once a century) what do you do with it?

Lastly, a friend is having a real problem with her daughters. They are about to turn four and seven. The issue is potty talk. My friend asked for advice getting her girls to stop. She says they say “Poop, pee and butt, over and over and over again. And they make the peeing sound (hissing) all the time.”

She wants to know “Will punishment make it more intense? Or, should I ignore it?”


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Maria
    Aug 29, 2011 @ 17:23:20

    Oh, how I remember those days. At first, my three would go to their dad’s just for a few days…It was just enough to catch my breath. Eventually, it worked up to a week! One day w/o the kids was fine. Two…I could even handle that! THREE PLUS? I had already cleaned the house, went through their clothes, and organized the pantry. I wandered around in each of their rooms. I got more and more depressed. Friends invited me over to their houses, and I thought being around their kids would cheer me up…WRONG. It just made me miss MY kids more. I couldn’t be around kids, or kid-friendly activities. I had to do grown up things. I started x-country skiing. Riding my bike more. Outside things. I had other single mom friends to do stuff with. That was very important to me. I’d go to a NICE RESTAURANT – which freaked me out at first at the prices, cuz I was used to kids’ menus and things…

    Still…six years later, and my kids are older, I still plan ahead for the two weeks that they’re gone in the summer. I go on trips and get OUT OF THE HOUSE. I have to. And I try to talk to them every day.

    Classes, books, etc. Get with friends. Learn to love your time w/o the kids, and it’ll make you a better mom in the end. Good luck.


    • Mom Land
      Aug 29, 2011 @ 18:16:26

      Maria- Thank you. I’m really trying to get out and do more things. Break out of my comfort zone. It’s hard! I kinda feel like a dork asking my friends if they’ll invite me to come and play with them! Thanks for your insight!

      Aniela’s iPhone 🙂


  2. Uwe
    Aug 30, 2011 @ 19:59:47

    Well, it sounds like you are trying to make the move out of your usual comfort zone. Many people who are just beginning the stages you are going through tend to get caught up in their “own” feelings and loss but forget about the other side. I hope you are not caught there. I read back on some of your blogs and how you and your ex sat down together to talk to your children, that was a positive move, working together is always the way to go.
    So now you have to wonder, how many moms out there never think about how a father feels the “loss” when they are not with their children? how many never think about the tremendous weight of loss the children may feel each time one of the parents have limited visitation…
    Giving your children reassurance that mom and dad love them as they always have help them to cope with a world that is changing before them.
    Enjoy your quiet time, keep a smile on your face, and be excited about what the future holds for you. don’t forget the noise ALWAYS returns 🙂


  3. Tara
    Aug 31, 2011 @ 18:54:19

    on the potty talk subject… my son is 4 and has started with the potty talk “poop, pee, butt cheeks, your name is booty…” the whole 9 yards! what i did was immediately identify those words to him as “Potty Talk”. i told him that we only use potty talk in the bathroom. if i catch him using Potty Talk, he gets one warning “Hey, Mommy said that’s Potty Talk and we only use those words in the bathroom…” and if he does it again, i’ll put him on time out in the bathroom to really drive home the idea that using potty talk outside of the bathroom is not ok. good luck to your friend! it took me about a week, and he does have occassional slip ups, but now the potty talk is at a minimum outside of the bathroom 😉


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: