The Other Mommy Uniform

A few weeks ago, I wrote about “The Mommy Uniform.” It’s typically yoga pants, a long sleeve shirt and hair pulled back in a messy (but not intentionally, in that “cute messy” way) bun or pony tail. Now that it’s summer, it’s occasionally a short sleeve shirt with yoga pants. Or shorts. Frankly, the uniform gets a little messy when you’re not obligated to see anyone besides your children during the day.

This past week,  my two older children were signed up for Vacation Bible School. That meant for five consecutive days, we all had to be clean, combed, clothed and out the door by 8:45am. It was a Mid-Summer’s Nightmare.

The sun is out, the kids don’t want to sleep and then attempting to get them up in the morning was rough. Okay, fine. I guess I can’t really lie on my own blog. Getting myself up in the morning was rough. It sucked!!! But, I knew they’d enjoy their mornings learning about God, singing songs and having fun. And, I would enjoy a couple of hours each morning with just the baby to contend with.

After the quick shoving down of breakfast foods, dressing and scrambling to the car, I expected to arrive at VBS with a throng of other disheveled looking moms scurrying to drop off their own children. Nope. Moms were hurrying, as usual. But, they were far from disheveled. They were put together. They had done their hair- with a blow dryer and curling iron and everything! Hair spray even! They wore outfits free of stains. They had smiles on their faces.

About mid-week, I ran into a pack of them. The Other Mommy Uniform clad moms. At first, it was just one I noticed. She was tall and thin. She wore spandex pants. She had a trendy running jacket on. Her hair was pulled back in a low pony, to accommodate her baseball cap. And, on top, perched on that hat, was a pair of sunglasses. Upon further inspection, I found a face full of makeup. Mascara, blush, you name it. Lipstick even. Then, I noticed a matching mommy. Then, another. Soon, I felt engulfed, encircled by this crowd of Other Mothers. They moved like a pack of gazelles. I couldn’t tell: were they going to work out kid free, or were they just returning from a morning communal jog? And WHY were they all wearing more makeup than I did to my senior prom?

I hate to say it, but the journalist in me was just too darn tired to search out the answers. I assume there’s a Stepford Wives Running Club or something. Obviously, you know who is not a member.

Real women, real moms don’t wear gobs of makeup to work out. We sweat. It’s gross. We put a heap of smelly clothes into our hampers when we’re done. Then, when we are at our most exhausted moment, our children dog pile us. And then, and only then, when we feel the most accomplished and sure of ourselves. When we feel as though we could conquer the world after a workout. When we feel our most self-confident and at peace with our yoga pants-donning Mommy Uniform, it’s then when our sweet, adorable, cherub faced child comes close to us, pulls us in for a hug, a squeeze, a cuddle and says to us in that darling little voice “Mommy, you’re fat!”

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. A Fellow Mom
    Jun 12, 2011 @ 22:57:21

    Thank you for sharing the laugh. I can only commiserate. While it might not be yoga pants, but I sport jeans, tee shirt, and a zippered hoodie. I do tend to wear make-up, but that early in the morning, I’d be lucky to just get the 1min quick fix done. Mornings, are a no-go for me. I don’t know how some of these mom’s do it….and even more-so, how they can be timely and chipper…just not a trait I am blessed with 🙂

    Reply

  2. Lisa
    Jun 13, 2011 @ 01:07:16

    The Stepford Wives Running Club…hilarious! I’m the scary looking mom when I run. I’m sure I jiggle in all the unattractive places and so wear very loose clothing. We’re getting ready for a 5 day camping trip…as in tents. There will be NO looking good for the next week. I kind of get a thrill out of having no expectations on my appearance. Is that weird?

    Reply

    • areyoudreaming
      Jun 13, 2011 @ 02:41:30

      Lisa, No expectations is great! I think when there’s some sort of disaster and all the fake women run out of product, us natural ladies will be the gorgeous ones!

      Reply

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