Jesus, the Bunny and the basket- PART THREE

And the winner for the worst behaved child in church tonight goes to….

DRUMROLL PLEASE

You guessed it! My bouncing baby boy.

Church tonight was painful. Literally. My toddler bit me on the shoulder. It hurt like, well, that place you shouldn’t mention in church. Argh!!!

I think my kids hold secret meetings to decide who will misbehave and when. They don’t want to step on each other’s toes or anything, unless they are planning a joint attack. Those are always fun. For them. Tonight, the baby was the rebellion leader. And, as if to contrast how badly his behavior really was, my other two were complete angels. They stood when they needed to stand and sang when they needed to sing. At least, that’s what I saw when I was actually in church. I spent more time in the church hall trying to muffle the sounds of my toddler’s tantrum than I did in the actual service.

I did everything I could to prepare for church tonight, except pray to God that my children would behave. Looking back, that was the missing ingredient. I’d brought snacks (multiple kinds for the discerning taste buds of my little one), books, crayons and paper. Everything was there to create a positive (and quiet) church experience. My baby would have none of it! After an hour and a half of nerve-racking, water-spitting, biting, flailing toddler time in church, the service was over and we got out of there. As fast as humanly possible.

I drove home with one thought in mind: Lambrusco. Boy, do I need a glass of wine. Or two. Or three. Spending time in church shouldn’t leave me headed for the bottle. Nor should I be thinking such un-Christian thoughts during church. I love love love my kids, but Lord help me!

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Amy
    Apr 23, 2011 @ 08:32:41

    Tell the baby whisperer to get back on it! She is slacking!!! 😛

    Reply

  2. KalleyC
    Apr 24, 2011 @ 01:57:47

    I can so relate. Every Sunday my daughter thinks she’s the priest and starts talking loud when he talks. She also takes it upon herself to lead the choir in song. I gave up being embarrased.

    Reply

    • areyoudreaming
      Apr 25, 2011 @ 04:18:28

      My oldest used to do that when she was a baby. It seemed like every single time our priest would open his mouth, she would scream as loud as she could to cover him up. It was pretty funny.
      Thanks for commenting. I’m going to check out your page now. I’m still breastfeeding my baby and getting a lot of pressure to stop. Planning to post on that soon too. Happy Easter!

      Reply

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