Diaper Genies and other disgusting magic

The concept of a diaper genie sounds good on paper. In fact, they’re pretty much a staple of any baby shower. I owned one with our daughter. Now, with our third child, we have one of those bucket style diaper bins, where the lid has a handle that dumps the dirty diaper down into the pit below. Again, on paper, these both appear to be sound inventions. Let me tell you why they’re not.

Eight and five sixths years ago (she’s counting, so why can’t I?) we brought home a beautiful baby girl. We’d gotten a puppy from the pound a few months before I found out I was pregnant, so now with a year old dog running around, we figured we’d better find a safe place to put the diapers. Of course, someone gave us a diaper genie at our baby shower. It was a must have! We dutifully set the contraption up in the nursery and every stinking diaper (pun intended) went into that thing. Drop diaper in. Twist lid. Honestly, it took a couple of times to figure it out and before we knew it, it was time for a new bag.

The first round of nasty newborn diapers, wrapped and twisted in the white plastic bag, was set in our utility room area until garbage day. (It was Indiana in June. A sack of diapers out in the hot sun would be a bad way to make nice with the neighbors.) We left the bag there and went off to work. Now, remember that little pound puppy I told you about? Here’s what that plastic bag of diapers looked like to her: snausages. Think about it. Diaper. Twist. Diaper. Twist. Diaper. It was like a disgusting delicacy. She was in heaven. And, upon our return home that evening, we were in hell. Remnants everywhere. Everywhere! We continued to use the diaper genie, but we came up with a new plan for the full bags.

A few months before baby number three was born, I saw a sale at the high-end baby store in town, Junior Towne. Usually, I can’t afford their stuff, but this was a big sale! I saw the bucket style diaper bin. It was automated. You just had to wave your hand over the top and it would open, ready to swallow whole your latest delivery. (The diaper, not the baby.) I bought it. Sounded great. Now, let me tell you why this one wasn’t any good either.

While the Diaper Genie created a Snausage style treat for our pup, the bucket device makes its own trouble: a potential haz-mat situation. It has this charcoal filter in the lid. That should have been my first clue. Sure, the hands-free automated feature was great. I could wave a hand and poof, it was open. Of course, I had to turn it to manual when my kids realized they could make it work like magic too. But here’s the deal with a bucket of dirty diapers. It smells like a bucket of you know what. Probably, because that’s exactly what it is. The baby is 15 months. Now, when we go to open it, there’s a precautionary routine: Hold diaper in one hand. Take big, deep breath. Hold breath. Quickly open lid. Toss in stinky diaper. Close lid. Continue holding breath. Grab baby from changing table. Run to other side of room. Breathe in. Gag because the stench has followed you. Gag some more. Swear you will get rid of the smelly thing. Leave the room, as your nose can’t forget the horror it’s just experienced.

I even took Pine-Sol to the thing. No dice. Still smells.

Before there were Diaper Genies and Magic Diaper Buckets, what was done with the used and nastified diapers? I tell you what, I’m done with sick snausages and bothersome buckets. Any ideas? Throwing them outside is still not a good plan. Though we don’t experience the heat of the midwest, the bears might just love a taste of this stomach turning treat!

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kara
    Apr 28, 2011 @ 04:39:34

    I had a Diaper Genie with my oldest and hated it. With all the rest, they just get tossed in the kitchen trash. It gets taken out every day to the big pail that goes out to the curb weekly. No smell, no hassle, no extra bags or icky messes.

    Reply

  2. Christy Cresap
    May 07, 2011 @ 00:26:05

    When my kids were in diapers, every poopy one went into a plastic grocery bag, knot tied in top (=hermetically sealed in my mind), and into the big garbage in the garage. No need to store poop in the house!

    Reply

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