You know those reading incentive programs – where kids read for a certain number of hours and then they can win a free personal pan pizza? Yeah, it’s a good thing those kinds of incentives aren’t a feature of nuclear disarmament talks. We’d all be in big trouble.
My second grade son recently won a free pizza for reading multiple hours in school. He brought home the prized certificate, glowing with pride. We hung his reading work on the fridge and put the certificate in my purse. We picked up his pizza tonight. He was very excited. At first. It’s amazing how quickly sibling relationships can break down over a little thing like Canadian Bacon.
As soon as he got in the car, things got a little crazy. Instantly, his younger brother and older sister began peppering him with pleas for pizza. (Say that three times fast!) Within seconds, they were taking sides:
“Give me a slice or I’m not on your team anymore.”
“You can’t have any. It’s all mine.”
“We’re not on your side if you don’t give us any pizza.”
“How dare you betray me?!”
“You’re being selfish!”
Needless to say, talks broke down after that. I decided to let them handle this. I was interested to see how this would turn out. By the time we got home, he had parceled out the tiniest peck of pizza for his siblings. In fact, I think it was just a shred of partially burnt Canadian Bacon…
He did give them each a crumb of crust. It seems to have satisfied things. Then, he got out a marker and wrote a threatening message on the pizza box before he put it in the fridge. Things were said. Threats were made, including a threat to kick his sister in the balls if she took any of his pizza. Not sure where to start with that one…
Sibling relations are back to normal. That is, until next month and the next personal pan pizza….