They Call them ‘Fun Bags’ for a Reason

My youngest son is three. He likes trucks and dinosaurs, cars, harassing his big brother and sister, snuggling, reading books and boobs. Yes, he loves boobs.

I breastfed him until he was just shy of two years old. But I know plenty of women who breastfed until that age with no negative side effects. I’m not saying breastfeeding is to blame. I’m just giving some background as to why he has so much experience with them at the ripe old age of three.

Often times, we’ll be reading a book and he’ll ask to sit on my lap, “criss cross apple sauce.” He’ll shimmy his body back, further and further until his head has come to rest between the built-in mommy headrest. Other times, if he falls or gets hurt in some way, he’ll come for a comforting hug. Once his body is close to mine, he’ll lower his head until it’s right at motor-boating level. It’s bad when kissing your son goodnight starts to feel like the end of a very awkward date.

Last weekend, my mom watched our kids for a night. She called me a few days later to tell me about something that had happened at the store. They’d walked in and saw one of those mannequin witches – the ones with sensors in them that cackle and move when you walk by. My mom explained that as my youngest son was walking by, the witch started to move. He stopped. I thought she was going to say he started to cry or maybe that he hit the doll. Nope. My son reached over, pulled her dress up and felt her boobs. The woman behind the counter and my mother began nervously laughing together. I wasn’t even there and my face was bright red just hearing about it!

Have I mentioned that my son likes boobs? A lot. He’ll walk by me and point to them saying, “Boobs!” as loud as he can. Unless he’s practicing to be the stereotypical New York construction worker, I’m certain this is not a good thing.

I’ve explained that this is not appropriate behavior and that he can’t go grabbing, groping, cat-calling women. What’s worse – I think he thinks it’s funny. Of course, it doesn’t help that when he does grab at them or holler out the word, “boobs,” most people start laughing.

I dread the day he makes his love of breasts known at preschool. I can just imagine that phone call….

How would you handle the breast-obsession?

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  1. Trackback: Two Times Two Equals Four | Mom Land

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